Gimpy-Eye
by eclectic
Summary: Gordo really likes Radiohead... [purely comedy] Fini!
1. Crappy first chapter

Gimpy-Eye  
  
[A/N: This will not be L/G. It will not be M/G. It will not be L/M. There will be absolutely no romance in this story. I'm simply trying to write the second-best episode guest-starring Radiohead ever. I say second best because really, could anyone ever beat Scott Tenorman Must Die from South Park? I got the title from a logo someone had of Thom Yorke. It said: "Moody. Genius. Gimpy-eye." It made me laugh profusely for many hours. Keep in mind the characters won't be very politically correct, or even nice, or have good taste in music. And for the record, I severely dislike Radiohead, other than the fact that they were on the best episode of South Park of all time. And I like Lizzie McGuire only as a guilty pleasure. There will be no animated Lizzie, as she is stupid and I hope she gets erased. A/Ns will be in brackets. So R/R, and I can handle flames, but be nice, don't be mean. Enjoy.]  
  
‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹ ‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹  
  
Gordo: (running to Lizzie's locker, where she and Miranda are talking) Ohmygosh guys, I have discovered the absolute best band in the world, they're so cool, and...  
  
Lizzie: You mean Dreamstreet?  
  
Miranda: We already discovered them.  
  
Gordo: (gives "the look") Normally I would chide you for your disgusting taste in fluffy teen pop, but I'm much too excited for that. I hold here in my hands the best CD ever recorded. (holds up a CD)  
  
Lizzie: Well? Care to share with the class?  
  
Gordo: (beaming with exuberance) Kid A.  
  
Lizzie and Miranda: What the hizzy? [or something to that effect. I'm not hip to the lingo nowadays.]  
  
Gordo: By Radiohead...?  
  
Lizzie: Never heard of em. Sorry.  
  
Gordo: (acting super incredulous, as always) What? Don't you read Rolling Stone?  
  
Miranda: I did once, but they gave *NSYNC a bad review.  
  
Gordo: (tries to think of a way to comment of her stupidity, but realized it's futile.)  
  
Lizzie: Anyway, what about this Radiohead?  
  
Gordo: They're the greatest, most inventive band on the face of the planet, AND...  
  
Lizzie and Miranda: And...?  
  
Gordo: They're gonna be in concert here in a week! Wanna go?  
  
Miranda: We'll think about it. As for now, we gotta go to class.  
  
Exeunt  
  
‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹ ‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹  
  
Next one will be short. R/R, and if you must flame, do so mercifully and with proper grammar. 


	2. Filler Chapter

This Chapter is only Filler (aka) I Needed to Update The Story, But Had Writer's Block  
  
Since I forgot it last time, here's the disclaimer: I don't Lizzie McGuire or Radiohead, but I do 0WNXX0R j00.  
  
[In this chapter, Lizzie asks her parents if she can go to the concert, and the obligatory look-what-zany-thing-Matt-does-now subplot begins. It'll probably be short and low on plot. In fact, this entire story is short and low on plot, and only amusing if you know about Radiohead, which I doubt many people who read Lizzie McGuire fanfics do. A Disney-channel loving alterna geek is a lonely life, my friends. Without any further incessant babbling from me, here's the next crappy little chapter.]  
  
Lizzie: Mom... I love you... you're the best mom ever!  
  
Jo: What do you want now?  
  
Lizzie: Can I go to the Radiohead concert with Gordo and Miranda next week? Please?  
  
Jo: Radiohead? Who're they?  
  
Lizzie: I dunno, but Gordo likes them. He really wants someone else to go with.  
  
Jo: Well, if Gordo likes them, they must be okay. It's not like they'll give you nightmares or anything. (forboding music plays briefly)  
  
Matt: Hey mom, I found a secret portal to Hell.  
  
Jo: That's nice dear. Go and play.  
  
Lizzie: So I can go? Coolie! [A/N: this is apparently a racial slur for Asians. Someone should really bring this up to the execs at Disney.]  
  
Jo: I suppose. (misty eyed) My baby's going to her first concert! You're growing up so fast!  
  
Lizzie: First off, You're embarrasing me, and second of all, I've been to concerts before! Remeber that Spice Girls concert, right after Geri left. Boy do I wish I had that night back for something more productive, like biting off my own toenails.  
  
Jo: I tried to block that out.  
  
Lizzie: Sorry.  
  
â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?â€¡?  
  
{on three-way phone}  
  
Lizzie: I can go Gordo!  
  
Miranda: Yeah, me too!  
  
Gordo: That's great you guys! The concert's on Friday at 8 pm at the Globe. My dad can pick you up.  
  
Lizzie and Miranda: Coolie! [I really enjoy them saying racial slurs unintentially...]  
  
*Matt screams in the background, begging for mercy from someone...or something... bwahaha*  
  
Gordo and Miranda: What the crap was that?  
  
Lizzie: It was just Matt. He found a secret portal to Hell or something.  
  
Gordo: Glad it's not anything important.  
  
Miranda: I gotta go. I need to pick out my outfit for the concert!  
  
Lizzie: Me too!  
  
Gordo: It's not really that kind of concert...  
  
*Lizzie and Miranda hang up. Gordo sighs and hangs up.*  
  
Did that one suck as much as the last one? R/R! The next chapter will be about the subplot. 


	3. Subplot Chapter

Subplot Chapter  
  
[This chapter will be incredibly stupid and have even less plot than the rest of the story. I just couldn't resist using it. The next chapter will here sometime in the week. I know I'm incredibly slow at putting out chapters, but I don't have very much spare time. This story will probably have 5 chapters. And for the person who flamed me for not liking Radiohead: I actually enjoy Creep a great deal. Radiohead was cool pre- The Bends. And South Park is cool simply because it's offensive and poorly animated. Enjoy.]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire, Radiohead, or Satan, but I do 0wnXX0r j00. [if anyone here can read 1337, I may write a story about 1337, in 1337. And if you don't know what 1337 is, you'll learn shortly]  
  
Jo: ...It's not like they'll give you nightmares or anything.  
  
Matt: Hey mom, I found a secret portal to Hell.  
  
Jo: That's nice dear. Go and play.  
  
(Matt goes to his Mattcave)  
  
Matt: Mom doesn't care about me. You would think she would care that I found a secret portal to Hell, but no. If she founds out I made it in the MattCave she'll probably faunch though. Ah well. Might as well go into Hell now. Maybe someone there will care about me. Why am I talking to myself? Jeez, I gotta lay off the crack.  
  
(Matt crawls into the cave and emerges in Hell)  
  
Satan: This is the voice of Satan...  
  
Matt: Hello!  
  
Satan: What? Dare someone address the prince of darkness?  
  
Matt: My name's Matt! What's yours?  
  
Satan: Um... Satan...  
  
Matt: Pleased to meet ya Satan!  
  
Satan: Same here...  
  
Matt: Satan? I gotta ask you a question.  
  
Satan: What's that?  
  
Matt: With so much evil in the world, it would only make sense if you had a human incarnation. Why don't you?  
  
Satan: I do.  
  
Matt: Who?  
  
Satan: (puff of smoke) Aaron Carter!  
  
Matt: (screams, begging for mercy)  
  
Gordo and Miranda: What the crap was that?  
  
Lizzie: It was just Matt. He found a secret portal to Hell or something.  
  
*Meanwhile, back in Hell*  
  
Satan/ Aaron Carter: Fine, I'll change back. *cloud of smoke*  
  
Satan: Better?  
  
Matt: Much!  
  
Satan: So what are you doing in Hell anyway? Dead people don't scream like that.  
  
Matt: I found a secret portal to Hell in my backyard, and my mom doesn't love me so I came here. Satan... will you love me?  
  
Satan: Sure I will Matty! I get lonely in Hell sometimes. Come on, I'll show you my kingdom of terror.  
  
Matt: Cool! I love you Satan.  
  
Satan: I love you too Matt.  
  
(they skip away merrily through the flames, the screams accompanied by Close To You, by the Carpenters I believe)  
  
  
  
R/R pwease! 


	4. At The Concert [Crappy]

Ch. 4- Gimpy-Eye  
  
At the Concert [Crappy]  
  
[Here is my next crappy little chapter! I really don't have any ideas for this one, so it's really gonna suck. The mainpremixe is that t hey go to the concert, and they're all creeped out by Thom Yorke. Hence the title. I noticed that in hte last episode noone said Coolie, did they finally catch on? I shall still make them unknowingly spout racial slurs though. And for all you shippers/ fluffers/ whatever you call it here: My next story will have romance galore. It will probably be called Obligatory, since I'm gonna go ahead and get rid of the obligatory romance/ writing myself in crap. Anywho, here's more of my fic, and if you want a really good Radiohead-inspired thingy, watch the episode of South Park called Scott Tenorman Must Die. Pure Genius.]  
  
I don't own Lizzie McGuire, Radiohead, or any of the other bands mentioned, but I do 0wnXX0R j00  
  
Gordo: I can't believe we're actually here!  
  
Lizzie: I know! The opening band kinda sucked, though. Other than that, it's totally coolie!  
  
*An Asian man gives them dirty looks*  
  
Miranda: What was that all about?  
  
Lizzie: I dunno.  
  
Gordo: I think everyone's looking at us...  
  
*a bunch of alterna-people all stare at them*  
  
Miranda: What's your deal, yo?  
  
Guy: You're wearing an Aaron Carter T-Shirt. Are you aware of that?  
  
Miranda: Duh. Isn't he coolie?  
  
*Asian man tries to beat them up, friends hold him back. Lizzie and the gang are oblivious*  
  
Guy: It's cool to wear band shirts to concerts, but not him...  
  
Miranda: At least I have a cool person on my shirt! Who's ever heard of the Flaming Lips? [rad band: check em out]  
  
Lizzie: All these people are wearing shirts by really unknown people. Who the heck are Cibo Matto? [one of teh raddest bands in existance.]  
  
Miranda: And who are the Ramones?  
  
*Gordo sighs and pretends not to be with them*  
  
Lizzie: Shhh! Radiohead's coming on!  
  
Miranda: Who's THAT guy?  
  
Gordo: That's the lead singer, Thom Yorke.  
  
Lizzie: What's up with his eye?  
  
Gordo: Be nice, don't be mean.  
  
Lizzie: Sorry.  
  
*The band start playing. Thom starts convulsing.*  
  
Miranda: He's creepy! And bad!  
  
Lizzie: Maybe it'll get better.  
  
*Radiohead plays 3 more songs, with Lizzie and Miranda looking more creeped out--and Gordo more exuberant--as the songs go on. Finally, after the 3rd song, when Thom is talking to the audience:*  
  
Lizzie: Gordo, they really creep me out.  
  
Miranda: Not to mention they suck!  
  
Lizzie: Let's leave.  
  
Gordo: No way! This rocks!  
  
Miranda: Fine, we'll be at the merch table.  
  
Gordo: Whatever.  
  
  
  
['Twas it. Next chapter should come next weekend, unless I get really inspired during the week. R/R!] 


	5. Nightmares

Final Chapter!  
  
Nightmares  
  
[I know I said it would take a week to put this up, but since I had word open, I figured I might as well finish this and get started on Obligatory. In this final chapter, Lizzie and the gang discuss the previous nights events. It shall suck more than the last, and be incredibly short. It even has a cheesy ending line! At least now it'll be done. Rejoice, kiddies, Rejoice!]  
  
I don't own Lizzie McGuire or Radiohead, but I do 0wnXX0R j00  
  
  
  
(on three-way calling)  
  
Gordo: Hey guys!  
  
Lizzie and Miranda: Hey.  
  
Gordo: Tenacious D is gonna be here next week! Wanna go?  
  
Lizzie and Miranda: NO!!! [who would turn down an opportunity to see the D?]  
  
Lizzie: Ohmygosh, I am so tired! I got absolutely no sleep at all last night!  
  
Miranda and Gordo: Me neither.  
  
Gordo: Why, did your ears ring too much? I kept thinking the phone was ringing all night.  
  
Miranda: No, I had nightmares!  
  
Lizzie: So did I!  
  
Miranda: What was your's, Lizzie?  
  
Lizzie: I dreamt that everyone I saw had eyes jsut like Thom Yorke! Then, I looked in a mirror, and I had eyes like him too!  
  
Miranda: Ewwww...  
  
Lizzie: What did you dream about?  
  
Miranda: I dreamt that there were a bunch of Asian guys wearing shirts from bands I had never heard of wanting to beat me up. There was bad music everywhere!  
  
Gordo: Other than the bad music, that was what happened last night.  
  
Lizzie: No, the bad music was very much a part of last night.  
  
Miranda: So did you have any nightmares last night, Gordo?  
  
Gordo: No, but the strangest thing happened this morning...  
  
Lizzie: What was it?  
  
Gordo: I woke up this morning sucking on a lemon...  
  
  
  
Fini! R/R, and watch for Obligatory. 


End file.
